The other day while running with a friend, he told me to focus on my exhalation and the inhalation will just come. I have been practicing this and it strikes me as incredibly metaphoric and reminds me how much I love embodiment...if I can focus on the exhale in my physical body and feel the ease with which the inhale follows, I can do the same in my life. I realize how often I focus on inhaling in a deep breath and that takes a certain amount of effort whereas if I focus on exhaling and getting all of the air out of my body...the Universe doesn't like a void and will immediately and effortlessly fill it up. This mirrors my experiment with surrender. If I focus on making myself available and listening the Universe will send along incredible experiences I could have never thought up on my own that just fill my life in such an easy manner that I marvel constantly this dynamic. Sometimes whales exhale a rainbow...well we can do this also. By focusing on the exhale we are inviting in all that is rather than only inviting in what we believe we want on the inhale.
About a week ago I was initiated in Reiki. Reiki invites one to dedicate themselves to the 5 principles “Just For Today”. In my intense ups and downs, I kept reminding myself of this… Today I realized that I was saying it without letting the full weight of what that means in. I was in a space of playing the victim: blaming society, culture, people around me for caging me and making me feel miserable. The irony of feeling dismal in a paradise of nature and beauty hit me yesterday… even so the mood lasted all day.
Today as I was collecting leaves in the forest to make a compost, I woke up to the cold hard fact that I choose every day, perhaps every moment, what I dedicate my time to, who I am with and how I want to live. Conditioning is present and of course has an impact on my decisions. But being caged is a state of mind that can occur in any external setting, from the most appalling to the most marvelous life situations.
So JUST FOR TODAY, I OWN the decisions I have made and make constantly. This is so empowering – when I take responsibility for the choices I make, I am participating consciously in molding my life. This still holds space for surrender in every moment, and in fact is part of accepting the life situations in which I find myself. Full acceptance of my present state, be it stagnation or transformation, is a reflection of my will to embody this experience with full attention and intensity. And this becomes a beautifully continuous dance – I define my boundaries by making certain choices and I surrender into the results. Then I observe my present state and situation and make a decision in the next moment. This is the beauty about why so many wise beings expound the importance of living in the present.
So how do I cut the ties that bind me to what I have been blaming for my suffering and see more clearly what decisions will guide me towards happiness? One thing I adore about going on retreats is doing “check ins”, which are the time slots set aside for people to reflect on their experience to the whole group. When not on retreat, I can “check in” with myself, recognizing that the group support is miraculous but unnecessary…I have the capacity to fulfill any and all needs I may have from within. Going inward I discover the truth behind Rumi’s incredible adage: “You are not just a drop in the ocean, you are the entire ocean in one drop”. If, as science has discovered, I am connected to all that is, then I have access to all of the advice, love, support and knowledge I could ever desire. Thus, I also have access to the infinity of creative possibilities that exist beyond the norms to which I am constantly exposed. There are many ways to encounter this wisdom…I have found that the most direct route is through the body.
If you allow yourself the time and focus to check in with your whole & true self, you will discover your capacity to recognize the voice whispering the “right” thing to do, which is based on external labels and value systems. Then check in with what feels right in your gut, your bones, your heart and surges from your intimate connection with all that is.
Cuddle piles, hair strokes and a good old fashioned chat over a cuppa tea is always a beautiful part of the human experience. However, as I appreciate more and more that I do not NEED others to support me or resolve my problems, I become ever more integrated with the wholeness of who I am. And living from that wholeness allows me to venture beyond my comfort zone and nourish the seeds of passion, joy and pleasure.
Recently I have been feeling a lot like Captain Jack Sparrow in the second Pirates of the Caribbean… my compass isn’t giving me a clear heading and so I move my finger around and say ok I’m going to go generally in that direction. This morning I decided to go kayaking on a beautiful and calm lake. The kayak I was using was incredibly difficult to keep moving in a straight line so I couldn’t settle into a rhythm and frequently had to put my paddle backwards in the water so the kayak didn’t do a 180 every 3-4 strokes. I got extremely flustered and decided to stop before that turned into anger. Laughter bubbled up as I realized how metaphorical the situation was for my life. Our society is so goal and efficiency oriented that unless we are moving quickly toward what we want, even when it is a wetland on a leisurely morning of kayaking, we get frustrated.
This led me to pondering my life’s purpose and what vehicles (tools) I need to get there efficiently… then magically the question was reframed – what is my heading. This entirely shifted the focus and rather than forcing a defined concept of how to make a living and productively add to the world, it became a playful envisioning of where I want to concentrate my energies (physical, mental, spiritual, etc). About that same time I came to shallow channels that coddled the kayak on all sides with lily pads and the wavering diminished. This reminded me of the tantric map laid out in a book I had read the day before that describes how to balance the 3 energies we all embody so that the 4th may emerge. “If you: 1) apply Tapas to create a container (the Yin Masculine/Testicular); 2) nourish and care for yourself so that you are full and ready to overflow (the Yin Feminine/Nourishing Womb); 3) maintain your sense of curiosity and adventure (the Yang Masculine/ Phallic); She, the one who is left (the Yang Feminine/Birthing Energy [shakti/spanda]) will show up!” (Kali Rising, Rudolph Ballentine) So I began wondering how to ‘accurately’ determine what kind of tapas will get me where I want to go…hahahaha yup did the straight line thinking again. But then my creative juices began to churn out tapas that would also serve as nourishing and adventurous pieces to my life and harmonize the perfect environment for spanda (creative Universal energy) to arise.
My final lesson for the day came when I ventured further into the narrowing channels full of vegetation and flowers. I love having flowers around and often pick some to place on the counter. I first saw some unique round flowers that I approached. I saw big bumble bees flying on and around them so I tried to find some that didn’t have any and when that didn’t work I began lightly hitting the plant with my paddle so the bees would fly away and I could pick some. One fell into the water…well I felt awful and began trying with my paddle and then leaves to get it out. Eventually it made its way out alone and I said ok thank you for showing me how important these flowers are, I won’t take any away from you all. As I continued, I saw some gorgeous purple flowers (my favorite color) and again thought – I wonder if I can get close enough to pick some. I tried and the vegetation was preventing me from getting close enough. As I turned to see if I could find some that were more accessible, I saw a butterfly perched upon one of these purple flowers. I laughed out loud and told nature I got the message…Don’t keep all the beauty to yourself! I understood this to be gently nudging me to explore all of my passions and interests, immerse myself completely in the pleasure of it, BUT share it all with the world. Perhaps this is where the “career” aspect of it comes in and maybe not but I have defined what tapas I will follow for a while and see where it leads me.
Tapas is sometimes explained as discipline but I think of it as holding space, which gives it the unique characteristic of easily adapting as conditions shift. The tapas I choose are to study wholeness – especially how play and body awareness help integrate and cultivate true power – for 1 uninterrupted hour a day; be in nature for hours a day; write down daily one playful activity, how it made me feel and bodily sensations I experienced while doing any activity; do some kind of service daily (be it cleaning the floor of the house I am living in to listening to someone who really needs to be heard).
Write me with questions, comments or your own tapas!
How much of my feeling of contentment comes from getting what I want and having my needs fulfilled and how much of it comes from surrendering and accepting what is offered to me?
As I have been exploring the question – what happens when 2 people have different needs that are mutually exclusive? – sparks of this concept keep revealing themselves. I have been using my own relationships to better understand how disparate needs can be reconciled and have recognized 3 noteworthy elements involved in this dynamic between 2 people. First, don’t take it personally. If you have ever read Don Miguel Ruiz, The Four Agreements, you will be familiar with this concept of simply accepting that everyone is living in their own bubble and what anyone else says, does, reacts to, responds, is not a personal attack against you even if they are telling you off or spreading rumors about you. Truly, it is more a reflection of what is going on inside of that person than of you. Second, communicate as honestly and as often as possible. This perhaps begins to sound redundant in relationship advice but any time I am upset with another person and get the courage enough to tell them honestly how I feel from my point of view without an energy of superiority propelling it, the relief inside me and the energy field shift between us is palpable. Additionally, this most often, facilitates the blossoming of compassion. I have discovered recently that the simple act of listening mindfully to the lens from which the other is acting opens up a whole new willingness to loosen the attachment to my own demands. Third, negotiate a strategy that takes all needs into consideration. Yes, this may mean compromising my own needs to those of the other person…but that is where the next piece of surrender comes in.
In recent explorations I have been practicing stating my boundaries and needs to others. This has been extremely powerful for me because previously if I didn’t like what another was doing my first knee-jerk reaction was to distance myself, often both physically (running away) and emotionally (closing off my heart center). This alternative taught me to vocalize what I don’t like and request what I would like. This opened up a whole new world of expression and self-knowledge (I have to know what I want before I can express it to others!). Then, the other day I was explaining this process to a friend and her reaction was ‘if someone is offering you something that is their nature of expression, by indicating what and how you would like to receive you are denying yourself the experience of their unique form of giving. Wow, ok, new lens! Once again this precarious equilibrium between requesting needs be met and surrendering to the experience in front of me…and I believe both are valid and required to get to know ourselves. It is possible and even beautiful to inhabit the in between…in the maybe.
Philip Shepherd and Joseph Campbell speak of surrender or submission to wholeness that already exists in and around you. If I am constantly directing my life in the direction I want, it is like digging a channel in a straight line instead of allowing the natural curvature of the landscape to guide me. The Incas constructed using organic architecture, allowing the landscape to guide the form of their buildings and then enhancing it with their knowledge and skill. This is as opposed to how many western cultures construct…bulldozing everything until it is flat and then starting from 0 and shaping primarily in squared off design templates. This attempt to control everything impedes the essential harmony that is ceaselessly lying in wait beneath the surface.
So being WHOLE, dwelling in the juuuuust right space of feeling eternally at home, is allowing the natural process of expansion and contraction to happen…becoming familiar with your peculiar set of needs, likes, passions, etc and then releasing them to whatever is, whatever develops. By creating a copious vision of life as an inclusive rather than exclusive experience you become present to what is and only there can you stop directing, dictating, plotting what to get and how to get it and simply be who you truly are.
If you’re interested in cultivating an eternal feeling of Home, please join me for a 9 week group course that will meander through koshas, habits, societal conditioning, connection with nature & fellow human beings and body-mind-spirit awareness. This online course begins on July 3rd. For more information or to register please visit www.surrenderinmotion.com or write me Jodi@surrenderinmotion.com.
About a month ago I communed with a beautiful green snake on a pathway. I stayed completely still as she checked out whether I was trustworthy enough to cross in front of. After several minutes she came towards me and then continued across the path on her way. The message I received which I now associate with both Tantra teachings as well as Taoism and my own practice of surrender was … Can you stay still enough to allow me to flow through you?
On the other end of the spectrum, the other day I was reminded of an event in San Jose that I had heard about but not paid much attention to and decided only 3 days before the event that I really needed to be there. As I tried to organize my work schedule and plan the trip, everything felt like a lot of effort, like I was forcing it. I paused and asked myself – what is my core need here – and was reminded of The Passion Test. A friend facilitated this test for me about a year ago and I discovered that my 5 top passions are dancing with others, playing in water, being in nature, staying open-hearted and trusting. Since the event was dancing with others I considered if I should choose to pursue it further. But when I thought about trusting, a deep peace came over me and seemed to indicate that something more expansive, more feminine, more diffuse was guiding me and creative ideas flooded into my mind of how I could fulfill and actually had been fulfilling the need to learn new things and dance with others and I was flooded with gratitude.
This question – WHAT IS MY CORE NEED – is essential to understanding our multidimensional labyrinth of needs and desires. It has helped me understand why people often say emit WHAT you want to the Universe but don’t worry about the HOW’S. Often our core need is buried by the ego creating detailed descriptions of how it has to be fulfilled. I believed that I needed to attend this workshop which would broaden my horizons in several areas that I am currently studying. I attached to the idea that this was going to be my only chance for a long time to participate in something like this…I was vibrating in lack. When I turned it around, I remembered that I have had many opportunities recently to fill exactly those needs and that I chose where I live knowing that it satisfies all 4 of my other passions but access to dancing contact would be more limited.
So can I observe, have faith enough, be empty enough, for the Universal consciousness and creativity to flow through me? This comes down to trusting – trusting that the resources, opportunities, people, etc that I need to grow in the direction my true heart desires are always abundant. If I get triggered and feel that a need is being unmet the first thing to do is peel away the layers of disappointments, fear, anger, etc and look at the fundamental craving within. If I can stay present enough to ask this question, the subconscious patterning indicating a deficiency and layers that are covering over my core need are illuminated. When I think I need something from someone else, the simple ability to express the true need and have it listened to with mindfulness is practically enough. The Course in Miracles says “you think you have a lot of problems but you really only have one, your separation from God.” This internal research has led me posit that I think I have a lot of different needs but truly I only have one, to trust what is unfolding moment by moment without attaching to results, likes and dislikes, etc.
More to come…I am now getting very curious about exploring what happens when two people have different needs and are incapable of finding middle ground…
I became conscious of this projection in a meditation and it set off a whole barrage of understandings. I realized that this simple belief system has molded all of my relationships and how I relate to everyone in my life became painfully clear.
Now my exploration is experiencing, without retracting, the energy behind being needy. All humans have necessities and desires. Relationships, in all their many forms, are a platform for this negotiation. I am hopeful that once I become fully conscious of my beliefs and tendencies around this relationship dynamic I will be able to simply get to know people for who they are and enjoy their simple presence.
The day of the meditation when a light was shined on my truth, it came with a lot of judgement. I have often felt guilty because I would like to be more generous but have never felt I could. I realized that the root of this came from feeling like a burden at a young age and thus through unconditional love providing everything I could, even beyond my capacity. This cultivated 2 paradigms: if I love you unconditionally or at all, I have to give without any limits & if you love me unconditionally, an expectation will always be in the background that I have to provide something in return and perhaps things I don’t want to. I have become very conscious that when someone asks me for something directly or I simply sense they need/desire something, I freeze and contract, especially in my heart and root chakras. I also feel the energetics of leaning in with a vulture-like agenda when I want something from someone else and how the same walls go up immediately if that need is denied.
Can meeting needs be smoother and create more intimacy rather than distancing 2 people? I have set the intention to be really conscious of this interaction and take notes every day for a month.
Leading up to this intention several situations set off my awareness of this obstruction to more intimate relationships. The first was noticing how males (not all but I have felt it commonly and especially in the Latino culture) look at me and feeling their desire to capture my feminine vibrance. When I sense this energetically I immediately put a wall between me and that person. In another moment I noticed when speaking to a woman and realizing she had something I wanted, I became more open, more willing to chat and kinder. This was so fascinating to watch within myself and as this leaning in grew stronger, I felt her begin to pull away. And the third event was when I expressed my need for something to a co-worker and made a request from him and he flatly said no. I felt how my heart instantly had the impulse to close and write him off completely.
I notice the repetition of these 3 patterns daily. So this experiment is a choice to delve deeper into how to navigate these waters of boundaries and needs. To discover how I can respond to others needs with openness and compassion while nourishing and expressing my own needs and boundaries. There will be 3 main challenges in this exploration: not to run away but to just be present with whatever comes up; remembering that I am fully capable of giving generously without draining my energies; and not taking others responses or actions personally.
Please feel free to write here or to me privately about your experiences with this to support both of our processes ;)
The intimacy paradigm in our society indicates that two people meet, fall in love and create an intimate connection, which essentially is seen as emotional bonding and physical interaction (sometimes seen as a synonym of a sexual relationship). However, intimacy can be discovered anywhere between a conversation, exploring the landscape of a face with curiosity, dancing and intercourse. It is a unique connection with another being beyond the ego and the control-support dynamic that nurtures the true self beyond all facades by creating trust that expressing the whole self – needs, fears, dreams, weaknesses, shame, desires, limits – will be met not with rejection, but acceptance. Accepting the vulnerability of this human form where I am separate yet still beautiful, unique yet still connected, reminds me of feeling at Home in a strange place.
By redefining intimacy and understanding the multiple levels and forms that are feasible, I unlock a new scheme of possibilities. Focusing all of my needs for intimacy on one person creates a lot of pressure for that person and me; it takes my connection to God and my eternal search for happiness out of my hands and puts it in those of another. If our common original wound as humans is separation from Universal Connection, the illusion that giving and receiving love from one special person, my soul mate, will heal my feelings of loneliness and suffering is just that…a misconception. What if I gave myself permission to cultivate intimacy with every being I encounter? What if I dropped expectations and personality and became emotionally naked?
Searching for someone to fall in love with, that falls in love with me and that I can make happy and that will make me happy…the one person who will be there in sickness and in health forsaking all others… is extremely limiting; it is saying I can only reveal my true self – and even then usually a censored version – to one other being. It is designating ONE intermediary of connection to all that is. And it has an expectation behind it of what intimacy should look and feel like rather being open to all the flavors, textures, colors, sounds and forms that it may show up in. Limiting my intimacy to one person or one kind is like limiting myself to experience just one kind of food in this life – rather than tasting blueberries, almonds, cheese, potatoes, kale and garbanzos, I choose to eat only almonds. And as I would limit the amount of nutrition my body receives by consuming only one food, I am limiting my soul’s nourishment by allowing very few people access to my true self and am exposed myself to few others.
Cultivating more intimacy requires an audacious determination to know myself. Culture, religion, family have taught me to hide who I truly am, to create a very convincing persona that likely changes depending on who I am interacting with, out of shame and fear of rejection. But this is the same barrier preventing me from uncovering what I most long for…being seen and accepted in the totality of who I am. Recognize and appreciate who you are, your shadows and your light, your good moods as well as the bad ones, your deepest desires and deepest fears. This begins to open doors of approval to see the light and dark sides of others and let them into your secret garden. Keeping who I am bottled up, I am preventing others from seeing me and allowing judgements on all sides to proliferate, creating more disconnect and fewer opportunities to allow my radiance to illuminate the world.
What if we redefined intimacy as the dance between our manifest autonomy and our absolute connectedness?? Every single human on this planet is the infinite, whole, expansive Universe on one level of their being and a denser, unique person on another. So how do we reconcile these two seemingly mutually exclusive pieces of information? The same way we look at the dichotomies of hot and cold or man and woman or rich and poor…by recognizing the yin yang symbol that demonstrates that each is always in the other…in other words there are no absolutes. So I am both dense and expansive, both exceptional and identical, both free and connected. My issue around intimacy is that I was told that to feel connected I had to give up my freedom, to feel abundant unconditional love I had to reserve my heart and body for one special person (there is of course some play in this…but I refer to the overall paradigm of intimacy). I now recognize that prolonging this belief was preventing me from experiencing what I was seeking all along…a feeling of being at home.
How the Risqué Topic of Kink Offers Insight into the Dance between Giving & Receiving, Surrender & Manifestation
Both giving and receiving, manifesting and surrendering are powerful actions!! If I know and can clearly voice my desires and boundaries, I create an intimate dance with the Universe and every being of trust and reciprocity.
I just attended a deeply transformational 5 day workshop that I understood to be all about Contact Dance…currently the activity I am most passionate about. It turned out to be more about setting limits and pushing boundaries often labeled as taboo…which was one of the most healing things I have ever experienced.
One of the classes I attended took the kink related play theme of dom/sub (where one person dominates and the other is submissive) and experimented with how to apply that in contact dance. It was enlightening to understand how these games actually work…it is not a matter of the dom simply acting out any desire they want. In fact there is a very clear conversation before the games begin (when it is respectful and mutual kink) that lays the ground rules of what can and cannot be touched, how and a special word that clearly indicates to stop immediately. So in the end the sub, although seemingly the one on the receiving end with no power, is in fact the one holding the ultimate power.
The concepts of ‘giving back’, being a giver rather than a taker are palpable in our society. I realized recently that for many years I felt like a burden – on other people and on the Universe in general. I always felt an underlying current of pressure to return a favor and felt exceedingly uncomfortable when I believed others were giving me things I could not give back (particularly in my case money/material things). This new context of playing within set boundaries has made me understand that I felt unsafe within my space because I didn’t understand that I have the right and ability to set and voice my limits…I realized that I did not trust myself…and that meant I did not trust the Universe!
I have been struggling for several years now trying to decipher if the Universe works through humans surrendering to what is or through manifesting what they truly desire. I now realize how intertwined this question is with being capable of giving and receiving openly, with no expectations of yourself or others.
Core Considerations about Giving & Receiving/Manifesting & Surrendering:
∞ With clear boundaries I can trust that in receiving I will not have to give more than I want to, that in giving I choose how and how much. Defining both my desires and my boundaries creates clarity and trust in all relationships!
∞ It takes an open heart to give and receive.
∞ Absolutely everything I do is an intricate dance with my environs. Every breath, thought and movement is an exchange. Every word, facial expression and attachment is a reflection of both my internal and external landscape.
∞ Giving/Receiving is not a direct exchange but rather an infinite spiraling loop – I may pass on valuable knowledge to someone that needs it with the simple hope that they do the same later on. My parents may give me economic support and then I pass that on to my children or others in need later in life.
∞ Manifesting and surrendering are not mutually exclusive… they are an infinitely unfolding dance and as I trust my partner (God/The Universe) more every day we both become more comfortable in trading roles… when I am in manifestation mode I can increase or decrease the ease/tension equation. If every step I try to take is thwarted, I can take a step back, expand my vision to the bigger picture and surrender to be guided in a new direction with the understanding that what I want to manifest may actually be more powerfully represented in a different form than I had imagined. When I am in surrender mode, I recognize that I always have the power to say STOP and choose to focus with more initiative.
∞ There is nothing more powerful than APPRECIATION. Perhaps the most amazing thing you can ‘give back’ to a favor is a smile or genuine gratitude with absolutely no necessity to return to that same person something of equal or greater value.
∞ Keeping a ‘score card’ with those you give to or from whom you receive something is a matter of CONTROL. If I control what and to whom I am giving, I control the benefits I receive from that giving and how much Universal input I allow to flow through me. If I control how much and what I receive, I only allow what I believe I am worthy of receiving.
∞ When you are in the optimal state known as FLOW you are capable of doing, receiving and understanding things you never would in a normal state. People who participate in extreme sports become superhuman, writers receive downloads that turn into incredibly inspirational works, artists and musicians create masterpieces that have no precedent. In this state it is well documented that people lose the concept of self, in other words they find a connectedness with the space around them that obviates the need to define themselves as an individual, which also elevates them to a place of ease. In this state concepts of give and take, manifest and surrender fall away completely and you merge into the consciousness that spiraling energy simply is and creation simply happens with no need to define the ORIGINATION vs the DESTINATION.
How would you move differently through space if you believed that everything around you is offering a supportive milieu in which to live? How would you behave differently if you trusted that you always have the power to define and reorganize the boundaries of this game we call life?
Picture taken from: https://lightravellerkate.wordpress.com/2014/05/27/the-art-of-giving-and-receiving/
Why am I surrounded by abundance of food, modern comforts, information, etc and yet I constantly feel as though something is missing?
Do you know what fills you up, what makes you feel comfortable, spacious, at home in your own body and mind? Most people in western society are so inundated with ideas, things, energies and information currently that they are completely out of tune with what makes them a unique individual.
I have energy bombarding my body and energetic field from magnetic impulses, radio, cell and TV waves, human heart energy, and more every single second. Because I am not conscious of them, they have no escape route.
The sheer amount of information that most people are exposed to in one day is overwhelming. Many people watch the news, absorb information from social media channels, actively seek information through books, internet research or work. Once this information is taken in what happens to it?
I have access to a wide variety of food every day and throughout the year. The dilemma of choosing what to eat 3 times a day has become a point of anxiety for many people. I have to weigh the costs and prep time of healthy foods versus the delight I receive from things like chocolate cake versus the nutritional value after exercise.
Two conclusions I draw from all of this:
1) Since I am not aware of what actually fulfills me on a deep soul level, I often just stuff my body and mind with whatever I can get my hands on to see if it might take the edge off a little of that nagging feeling that there is something more to this life. However, if I am surrounded by tons of things I think I should have gratitude for, believing that I should feel fulfilled because outside it looks as if I have all the building blocks to a great life, I could live my whole life pretending to be grateful and happy outside while trying to deceive my true self who will always know that I am living to others’ satisfaction, not my own.
2) What comes in wants to flow out. When I consume things I am not actually using in any beneficial manner (the same as with emotions), I am allowing them to build up and pile up and create clutter. How do you feel when you enter a house that has clutter everywhere? If that is what your insides looked like, do you think perhaps that stagnant squished feeling might translate?
So what can I do with this knowledge?
How many times a day do you feel you are struggling against something, someone or life itself? Do you feel at ease when you try to compel something or someone to change? Do you feel at ease when you keep thinking if only I had done that differently or that had not happened or I could manifest as easily as she does?
Ease for every person is going to look different. I may look at a woman I met and think wow she has such an easy life…she can manifest a successful, money-making business effortlessly. However, I have no idea what her whole picture is, what she suffered in the past, what her future will look like or why her soul is here. This is why comparing or even sharing techniques on this spiritual path does not always lead to similar results...your path is unique and once you realize that ease is not based on an absolute definition but rather based on your ability to allow WHAT IS and take actions from there, ease will become your dance with life no matter what is going on around you.
There are really 3 essential components to finding ease: let go of control, move towards what you are passionate about and look at the truth of your current situation. The combination of these three things will allow fulfillment to replace feelings of lack and effortlessness will seep into all areas of your life.
I personally find ease and a feeling of freedom most when I surrender control, allow life to be as it is without expectations that life should always coincide with my likes and dislikes. If I don’t get everything done I wanted to because someone arrived to interrupt me, I give thanks for the interaction and that I was able to support that person in some way and then continue with what is in front of me. A lot of anxiety comes from trying to control events before they happen, trying to plan every minute detail of how your day/life will look but how often does that plan turn out exactly as you had imagined? Yes, I know this is easier said than done…but just becoming mindful of how you feel in your mind, body and spirit when you try with all your might to change something that has already happened or is happening welcomes understanding the difference between struggling against the current of your life and letting go into the flow. Now this is not to say that you cannot use your actions to move towards change. However, there is a difference between forcing change to thrust forward towards my objectives and setting up all the pieces of the puzzle to invite change.
Which route do you take to work most days? The fastest, shortest, most scenic? Is it always the same route? Today as I was taking the most direct route to work I was reminded of a drawing a friend recently did for me that is a representation of your destiny path. If you look at the drawing here you can see that there are 2 basic ways to approach life and here I add a third. You can keep doing the same thing over and over (colored circles), staying in your comfort zone OR you can just start moving in a direction. The third option I would add in here is that of thinking you know exactly what you want in this life and always making decisions based on what you believe is the most direct route to get there. However, often the most direct route is not the fastest nor the easiest and in fact it may not even be YOUR route. The most direct route may have a really steep climb that your motor is not really up to quite yet. The most direct route may keep you 100% focused on the goal you defined but not allow you to enjoy the amazing scenery around you, which just might open your spectrum to see that the Universe in fact has a destiny that is much more exciting and fulfilling than the one you yourself were so intent on reaching. So if you choose to start meandering every day towards your passions, keeping your eyes and heart wide open, the Universe will help you course correct as you go. Your passions are like your compass to show you the way, your way.
Bringing light to your habits, patterns and ways of being in the world around money, relationships, work, relaxation, etc is an incredibly powerful way to bring ease into your life because ignoring emotions or material facts eats up and/or blocks a lot of energy. When you look truthfully at your situation around money, you will often find a lot more abundance than lack. For example, I had been ignoring my student loans for many many years essentially with the erroneous belief that they were way too large for me to ever pay off living the style of life I have chosen to live, but their existence was constantly hanging over my head. When I finally began to look at paying off the debt as simply another chore in my life and I looked at the truth of the situation the loans were a lot less than I imagined in my mind and I have already begun putting money towards them and have a plan to pay them off within 2 years. It is the same with many parts of life. In a relationship we often assume things our partner wants or is unhappy about. However, I have found that when I take the time to actually communicate intimately with my partner, the tension on both sides melts by seeing and accepting the truth of what the other wants and needs. Shedding light upon all areas of your life without pressure to get it all done at once, looking at it like a chore around the house, will open mental and emotional energy that you can then dedicate more and more to what you are passionate about and the more you do what you are passionate about the more areas of your life that have been hanging stagnantly in the background will begin to come to light gently knocking to ask if you are ready to release them. This is the snowball effect I have experienced in my life and that has allowed me to feel more ease in all areas of my life..not without some latent struggle, mind you…but moving everyday towards surrendering to how easily life can flow when I let go.
This is a loving metta prayer to find ease. You can simply send the metta prayer to yourself or you can do the full exercise, which will remind you of why you are letting go of control…
Metta prayer for myself
May I feel ease in my body
May I find ease in my work
May I find ease in my relationships
Metta prayer for a loved one, stranger, person you feel has caused you suffering
Repeat 3 times (start with imagining a loved one, then a stranger, then someone you feel has caused you suffering)
May you feel ease in your body
May you find ease in your work
May you find ease in your relationships
Metta prayer for all beings
May we feel ease in our body
May we find ease in our work
May we find ease in our relationships
is a citizen of the world. She grew up in the northeastern US and since then has been trapsing across the globe in search of herself - which of course she found inside - it was always there just not always accesible! Now she lives in Costa Rica in the Central Valley as the Wellness Center Coordinator, Yoga Instructor and Medicinal Plants Guide at Pura Vida Spa. Everyday she learns about and experiments with alternative therapies aimed at liberating blocked energy and helping us come a little bit closer to our true self. She works with Bach Flower Therapies, Yoga, Meditation, Inner Dialogue and has been trained in Cellular Regeneration Therapy by the Rene Mey Foundation, which she voluntarily shares with anyone in need of it.