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“The word surrender has significant roots, in which render has the meaning “to melt,” and sur means “super” or “highest.” In other words, the true meaning of surrender is to melt into that which is higher than yourself.”
-Margo Anand, The Art of Sexual Ecstasy
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What is the Value of Being in Control??

27/7/2014

2 Comments

 
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We are often berated with the word CONTROL … in meditation you learn to control your mind, through physical exercise you learn to control your body, we are told to control our eating, our spending, our behavior, our temper, our children, etc.  There is even a specific Bach Flower Essence, one of only 38, that is for fear of losing control!

I was just reading an article that says that once we recognize moments when we react out of a fear of being out of control we may begin to realize that control leads to a more civilized society (http://www.michaeleducationalfoundation.com/michael-system-basics/overview-of-the-michael-teaching/soul-perception-on-the-physical-plane).  Something made me stop and begin to ask a ton of questions – if control leads to a more civilized society then what does civilized mean? Does civilized leave room for creativity? Where do we draw the line between controlling ourselves and others controlling us?  How much of control is born from society, religion, government imposing the will of wanting to have a non-questioning and docile community?

There are 2 ways to perceive the word control – I control myself (list mentioned earlier) which is touted as a positive thing to achieve and others control me, which most people reject immediately and completely.  Where is the line drawn and what’s the difference?   If I have total control over my body and mind what would my reaction when new feelings/thoughts/questions begin to arise?  If I control my children based on the rules of a more civilized society (don’t run in the grocery store, don’t throw mud at others, keep your hands to yourself, ask for what you want politely, don’t interrupt an adult when they are speaking, work hard to get approval, etc) and they grow up to be a polite and hard-working adult in society, then how does transformation come about and who actually tells the truth rather than simply what people want to hear?

I don’t pretend to answer this question but I would love to begin a dialogue … what is the value of control and what is the relationship between control and transformation?


2 Comments
Anne link
27/7/2014 10:10:39 am

Words do have resonance and the word "control' has a strange vibration to me, but most likely due to our societal definition. I believe self control doesn't negate creativity or growth... if you switch the word control for 'mastery' or 'discipline' it might fit better. To master oneself is an ongoing process... I guess it's an oxymoron. Anyone who masters the attainment of wisdom would agree that it's the discipline one puts into transformation that is the key. If you think you've arrived, then you're in trouble :) The control that is imposed on us through worldly rules are all based on fear and limitations and other people's perception of acceptability. A different societies have different levels of what's acceptable. Canadian transportation rules are very different to that of India where pedestrians, cyclists, cars all move in some form of complete chaos... and it would appear to be completely out of control. Control is perceived and learned out of 'cattle' mentality... follow the herd and don't be an individual.

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Jodi link
28/7/2014 09:51:06 am

Anne, thanks so much for your take on the idea of control. This idea of individuality and the oneness of all life is also a big question of where the line is or if there is a line as well. I do question though whether all wisdom comes from discipline or not. In my process recently I have needed to be lazy in a certain way to integrate everything coming to me and it has actually been through letting go of my perfectionist discipline that I have had throughout my life that I have found new ways of being, transformation of habitual beliefs that I must constantly be DOING something instead of simply BEING.

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