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Surrender

“The word surrender has significant roots, in which render has the meaning “to melt,” and sur means “super” or “highest.” In other words, the true meaning of surrender is to melt into that which is higher than yourself.”
-Margo Anand, The Art of Sexual Ecstasy
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Pruning Blackberries - a Reflection of my Inner Landscape?

31/1/2014

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Pruning a blackberry bush is not simply cutting limbs – oh no!  You have to follow what looks like a dead branch back to its origin to see if any of the offshoot branches actually have fruit or flowers on them; even though that origin may be tucked away within a mob of thorns and other branches.  With this assurance, you may then cut the thick part of the branch where it originally meets the main branch.

So as I started early in the morning, the thorns caught my hair or clothes or hand several times so as to say ‘HEY you’re cutting me and not even acknowledging that I am here’.   I got angry, yelling at the plant to let me go!  I yelled at it – I am just trying to help clean you up so you have more space and feel healthier.

Then… I realized how ridiculous it was that I was yelling this at the plant and how I would feel if someone talked to me with that tone and energy – well of course I would stick them more with my thorns!

So what else was left but to apologize to the blackberry bush and explain that I am still learning to understand myself and the world around me.  I then began a dialogue with the plant and asked why it has thorns – what purpose do they serve?  I got a funny feeling in my stomach at the moment sensing that the plant was replying tauntingly – ‘well of course to teach impatient people like you how to deal with difficult situations in this world’.  HA! Seriously??

I went about my work pruning the plant with a big smile on my face and with much more patience and imagine what happened – I didn’t get caught on the thorns anymore and instead felt like the plant was truly grateful for shedding the excess material that was preventing it from focusing its energy and resources on being radiant.

So what did I learn from this experience?  First I learned – as I have several times working in the garden – that nature is the wisest master I have encountered and when I spend time there no matter what I am doing I learn deep lessons.  Secondly, I learned that when I walk around with thorns on the inside or outside and someone comes along and brushes up against me in a less than friendly way I tend to lash out and try to prick them.  If I begin to clean out the wounds and thorns within and create SPACE for things to just BE, I am able to react with a totally different attitude.


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Thanks for my Heart

6/1/2014

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Josephine Wall 'Crystal of Enchantment'
I essentially lived the first 30 years of my life struggling against life – believing I was not good enough.   There was an incessant background chatter in my brain that said I don’t have enough money, I don’t have enough knowledge, I am not as beautiful as I would like to be and I are not capable of achieving what I truly desire.   

What neither society, nor my parents, nor my friends dared to tell me is that the constant noise is not me!  The hullabaloo comes from what most people know as the ego, and that ego does everything possible to ensure that the conscious individual doesn't realize that she is much bigger, beautiful, capable and knowledgeable than she always assumes.  After being with a daily meditation practice for a considerable length of time I realized that I had somewhat of a contempt for my own heart - not believing it good enough, not integrating it as a part of me nor seeing it for the jewel it truly is.  So I began to give thanks for my own heart and create a relationship with it.
The best way to begin to retrain the mind and transform habits that you have potentially been creating and reinforcing for decades is to place all of your attention on the present moment and accept things exactly as they are.  Here follows a practice to begin to be conscious in moments of down time and the more time and attention you dedicate to cultivating these qualities the more the consciousness will seep into your daily life.  Begin by setting aside 8-12 minutes every morning or evening to complete this exercise in a relaxed environment without interruptions. 

Focus totally on the present moment.  Become aware of your body and its energetic quality.  Be conscious of your thoughts and emotions – take note of them and then simply let them flow through your body without getting caught.  Notice the flow of your breath in and out of the body, a constant exchange with the universe and the surrounding environment. Now feel your heart – place your hand over your heart and feel its beat.  Sink into this rhythm and accept yourself exactly as you are in this moment.  Consciously say to yourself – this is my experience at this moment and it is perfect just as it is.  Give thanks for your heart, feel it full of love, feel how it functions perfectly to carry blood, carry life to your whole body.   If hesitations begin to cloud your mind indicating that you don’t have such a great heart or you’re not capable of loving that deeply, simply focus on the heartbeat and know beyond a doubt that your heart contains all the love of the universe, that you are boundlessly capable of giving and receiving love, that when all you want to do is find peace in the chaos surrounding you, all you have to do is listen and in your eternal heartbeat you can always find an infinite fountain of peace and love.  

When you’re ready to return to the physical plane, begin to focus once again on your breath.  Feel the air against your bare skin, notice the sounds surrounding you.  Finally open your eyes with renewed vision.                  

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