On the other end of the spectrum, the other day I was reminded of an event in San Jose that I had heard about but not paid much attention to and decided only 3 days before the event that I really needed to be there. As I tried to organize my work schedule and plan the trip, everything felt like a lot of effort, like I was forcing it. I paused and asked myself – what is my core need here – and was reminded of The Passion Test. A friend facilitated this test for me about a year ago and I discovered that my 5 top passions are dancing with others, playing in water, being in nature, staying open-hearted and trusting. Since the event was dancing with others I considered if I should choose to pursue it further. But when I thought about trusting, a deep peace came over me and seemed to indicate that something more expansive, more feminine, more diffuse was guiding me and creative ideas flooded into my mind of how I could fulfill and actually had been fulfilling the need to learn new things and dance with others and I was flooded with gratitude.
This question – WHAT IS MY CORE NEED – is essential to understanding our multidimensional labyrinth of needs and desires. It has helped me understand why people often say emit WHAT you want to the Universe but don’t worry about the HOW’S. Often our core need is buried by the ego creating detailed descriptions of how it has to be fulfilled. I believed that I needed to attend this workshop which would broaden my horizons in several areas that I am currently studying. I attached to the idea that this was going to be my only chance for a long time to participate in something like this…I was vibrating in lack. When I turned it around, I remembered that I have had many opportunities recently to fill exactly those needs and that I chose where I live knowing that it satisfies all 4 of my other passions but access to dancing contact would be more limited.
So can I observe, have faith enough, be empty enough, for the Universal consciousness and creativity to flow through me? This comes down to trusting – trusting that the resources, opportunities, people, etc that I need to grow in the direction my true heart desires are always abundant. If I get triggered and feel that a need is being unmet the first thing to do is peel away the layers of disappointments, fear, anger, etc and look at the fundamental craving within. If I can stay present enough to ask this question, the subconscious patterning indicating a deficiency and layers that are covering over my core need are illuminated. When I think I need something from someone else, the simple ability to express the true need and have it listened to with mindfulness is practically enough. The Course in Miracles says “you think you have a lot of problems but you really only have one, your separation from God.” This internal research has led me posit that I think I have a lot of different needs but truly I only have one, to trust what is unfolding moment by moment without attaching to results, likes and dislikes, etc.
More to come…I am now getting very curious about exploring what happens when two people have different needs and are incapable of finding middle ground…