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Surrender

“The word surrender has significant roots, in which render has the meaning “to melt,” and sur means “super” or “highest.” In other words, the true meaning of surrender is to melt into that which is higher than yourself.”
-Margo Anand, The Art of Sexual Ecstasy
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Journal 3 PLAYING

14/4/2014

1 Comment

 
So this playing business is not as easy as I imagined it would be!  I arrived at my tropical destination late afternoon on the 12th exhausted and all I wanted to do was shower and fall into a bed.  However, I chose to do and experiment and instead I put on my bathing suit and went down to the beach.  As I arrived it started to rain.  I began playing around, kicking the water, letting the waves wash me in and out, rolling with complete abandon (while every crevice of my bathing suit and body filled with fine sand).  I got up and ran down the beach doing cartwheels and spinning with my arms out until I fell to my knees with dizziness!  Then the rain came harder and I simply sat in the wash feeling the cold water shower my head as the warm salt water bathed my lower body.  It was exhilarating, it was energizing, it felt amazing.  Playing can totally rejuvenate even the most exhausted body, mind and soul, which I also proved later on.  As night fell and I got into bed with my boyfriend all I wanted was to sleep.  But, we somehow started a pillow fight... hehe it´s been a while since I´ve done that!  Again it drew me out of my slumber and made me feel passionate, playful, open to let life in.
Then today I woke up and again was not feeling so inspired to go out and play and I began searching for ways to play and then of course realized that it kind of defeats the purpose if I look at it like a job... So I just took one thing at a time and realized I was falling into normal patterns of relaxing, yes, of doing things I like yes, but I was still not playing, but rather focusing on the serious things I need to do (meditate, do yoga, think about my work, etc) and not allowing the lightness of life to float along with me through my day.  So I thought back on my toolbox and as I was walking the beach back for lunch I saw a huge trunk in the wash with tons of branches.  I looked around for 2 sturdy sticks and began ¨playing¨ my new found instrument ... creativity flowed and my ears were having fun distinguishing between how each individual branch sounded against my attempts to bang them with any sort of rhythm (I was not naturally gifted musically).  But it didn´t matter because I was alone on the beach and just banging away like a kid with a new drum set.
So thus far, I feel like I need to truly set the intention in my day to play and then just let it go without taking it too seriously: give it a try.  Tomorrow simply set the intention at the beginning of your day to play and then let it go.
1 Comment
Anne
14/4/2014 08:11:46 am

I am not good a playing. I'm way too serious. I commend you for doing the 'work' (well, that's kind of a oxymoron)... but you're right, it's not easy... it begs the question why we need to develop, like a habit, the ability to play. Seems so strange, but I, for one, really get it! Love your raw observations in this journal :)

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