Curiosities & Reflections

No Apologies

23/6/2025

I’m sorry I’m exhausted and I can’t do what you’re asking.
Thank you, your no is a gift.
I feel so full heartedly that I’d love to offer you loving touch where you’re in pain.
Thank you for your fuck yes.
I was a yes when you first asked but now that my body feels yours in this way, I’m contracted and terrified to pull away.
Thank you, your no is a gift.

My lip is quivering and my whole body is aroused imagining dancing with you in this way, even the tone of your voice in the proposal pushes all of my pleasure buttons.
Thank you for your fuck yes.
I really want to be able to support you right now. The truth is I need to cocoon and extend that generosity to myself.
Thank you, your no is a gift.
Arriving
In a place
Where full-bodied yeses and no’s
Are revered
Is the creation of a culture
Where authentic pleasure and intimate relationship can blossom
Each of us can choose…
Can I?
Am I willing?
To be with
The discomfort that arises when I hear a no I really want to be a yes
Or the writhing in my body as the armor comes alive to resist saying fuck yes to what truly turns me on to life
Offer spaciousness, dear one
To your heart
As you discern
Between your bodily yeses and no’s
It just might transform your entire life

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Erotic Somatic Practice

19/6/2025

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People practice sports, martial arts, cooking and go to therapy regularly. However, it is not very common to hear anyone speak about an erotic practice…which can be a portal to knowing yourself.
Perhaps what makes this even less accessible for many people is that it’s different every time. Every day your mood, physical strength, energy level and time constraints are variable. And yet, creating a devotion to being with your erotic nature regularly immensely enhances your life force energy, adaptability and ability to buffer daily discomforts. It also has the ability to alchemize shame, addictive behaviors and other darker aspects of your sexuality that may be preventing you from feeling authentic pleasure.

This morning, this was my practice. Arriving at the beach cranky and exhausted I didn’t think I had any interest or energy for dropping in erotically.
I went to a rock outcropping where I go when the beaches are full with people. I crawled across the tactile seaweed that was exposed due to low tide. As I immersed my body, the water felt colder than I anticipated. Upon going under completely the nerves in my skin awakened intensely – somewhere between pleasure and pain. Moans and yelps simply began escaping my lips – I was isolated with no one to see or hear me. Waves began coming in and crashing me gently against the rocks, with seaweed and bubbles tickling me. After a few minutes of this I decided to just let sounds really emerge, joining my already deep breath that was keeping me present with the heightened sensations. Then my spine began undulating with the movement of the water.
Breath, sound and movement – the 3 elements most important in somatic, and particularly erotic explorations. These three things can evoke pleasure even in moments when you feel life a bit lackluster. I cautiously crawled back up onto a hot rock and laid in the hot sun savoring the peaceful satisfaction I felt in my body, noticing the cold and warm mingle.
All you need for an erotic somatic practice is curiosity, willingness to meet your edges of discomfort, an awareness of what brings you authentic pleasure (this is actually not a precursor but more a part of the whole experience…giving yourself permission and patience in discovering the difference between contrived and authentic pleasure) and an eagerness to savor the feelings evoked in your practice.
You can do this with your favorite music playing, while hanging in a tree, or in your cozy bed. The intention is to become attuned to the subtle cues notifying you that you're feeling authentic pleasure and deeply honoring and nurturing that. In the greater scheme of things, it may be one of the most potent things you can do to serve the world…light your heart and body ablaze with Eros and enthusiasm to lean into what fosters aliveness, joy, generosity, peace and love.

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Surrender

No Apologies

Erotic Somatic Practice

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